I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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