She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
