I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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