My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
