honey bunches of taint.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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