garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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