so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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