I need help removing her.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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