i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
