wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
