i already hear my dad disowning me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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