I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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