After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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