woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
