Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
