I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
