You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
