The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
