I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
