you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
