I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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