it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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