I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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