she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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