they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
