So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
