Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
