we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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