The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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