Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
