Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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