Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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