But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
