Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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