I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize