Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
