i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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