If i come over, it means nothing
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
