I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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