Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
