this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
