I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
