i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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