I hope mine doesn't look like that
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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