Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
