so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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