dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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