I think I won the penis lottery.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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