Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Damn victory sex feels great
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
