He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize