i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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