he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize