i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
