Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
