you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
