Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
