i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
