I want to have your abortion
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize