Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
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It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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