Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
