'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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