Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
