does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
